maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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