tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
