I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
