So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My feet surprised me
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