i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
pray to the hookup gods
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
