I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
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