ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
