I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
