That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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