Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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