When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
