Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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