its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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