My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
