he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
