the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
