Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
