If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
