He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
