We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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