Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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