Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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