When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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