Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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