he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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