Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
