I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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