Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
