His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Your cock deserves a montage
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
