i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
