I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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