Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
