I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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