Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
