I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
