Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I skipped work to stalk him.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
