I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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