i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
