So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
