Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
