btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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