Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
