and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
