That's when you crack a 10am beer
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
