dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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