Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
