You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
