why didn't you poke me back
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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