I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
