remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
