the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
