i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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