so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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