no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
