I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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