i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
